Interpol

so this is new. im just gunna put lyrics or fun little things in here, no updates or anything, just blah.. today Slow Hands(i know Marti will love this)

Slow Hands

Yeah but nobody searches
Nobody cares somehow
When the loving that you've wasted
Comes raining from a hapless cloud
I myself may look upon your face
Disappear in the sweet, sweet gaze
See the living that surrounds me
Dissipate in a violent waste

Can't you see what you've done to my heart
And soul...
This is a wasteland now

We spies, we slow hands
Put the weights all around yourself
We spies, oh yeah, we slow hands
You put the weights all around yourself

I submit my incentive is romance
I watched the pole dance of the stars
We rejoice cause the hurting is so painless
From the distance of passing cars

But I am married to your charms and grace
Just be crazy like the good old days
You make me wanna pick up a guitar
And celebrate the myriad ways that I love you

Can't you see what you've done to my heart
And soul...
This is a wasteland now

We spies, yeah, we slow hands
You put the weights all around yourself
We spies, oh yeah, we slow hands
Killer for hire, you know that yourself

We spies, we slow hands
Put the weights all around yourself
We spies, oh yeah, we slow hands
We retire like nobody else

consumer mgt

Hey im at school! woo im bored
NOOOTTHINNG to do, wells tudy but i never study for anything.
Ohh yeah ive doe nothing today so far.... i dont like wearing my unifrom!. grrs..

im done

im sick of this, blogger just takes too long to update, i know its not much but its enough to piss me off. im going to go back to Livejournal

4th time

baah fuck this comp. ive had to restart like million times. GRR whatever i dont feel like updating any more

i hate being emo

"Remember To Breathe"

She fixes her lips they
Always look perfect
never a smudged line
never too much
I try on my blue shirt
she told me she liked it, once
she wonders what I'll wear
she knows just what she'll wear
she always wears blue
so, sneakers of flip flops?
I'm starting to panic
remember she asked you
remember to breathe
and everything will be okay
okay [x2]
Alright [x6]

sugarcult

"She's The Blade"

Don't you make a move tonight
You can only stagger
Once shes got you in her sight
You're the one shes after

Shes the blade and you're just paper
You're afraid cause shes got closer
You're back-steppin and she's back-stabbing everything in your life

She stole everything your heart desired
Now you want it back
She stole everything your heart desired
Now you want it back

One by one you count the fights
Doesn't even matter
That shes got you by surprise
Misery's your master

Shes the blade and you're just paper
You're afraid cause shes got closer
Your back-steppin and she's out wrecking everything in your life

She stole everything your heart desired
Now you want it back
She stole everything your heart desired
Now you want it back

She stole everything
She controlled everything
She stole everything
She controlled everything

Shes the blade
Shes the blade
Shes the blade and you're the paper
Shes the blade and you're just...

Shes the blade and you're just paper
You're afraid cause shes got you closer

She stole everything your heart desired
Now you want it back
She stole everything your heart desired
Now you want it back

She stole everything
She controlled everything
She stole everything
And controlled everything

yet another day of depression and.. boring ness anything fun happen? i got my midterm grades ive got a 3.00 gpa and uhh one absense.. OH GOD im geting a B in a class i dont do jack shit in, that made me laugh as i told Bethany as i talked on the phone with her, yeah talking to Beth on the phone that was cool, i had missed her voice oh so much. umm today? was all like one big boring trip. notrhing really happened. bleh all i do everyday at school is look at the girls i can NEVER have, i dont even know why any more, its like blah.. ghost mode once again, its like midschool all over again. im glad i dont have to stay on the school campus during college, i guessi could stay in my car and study, or whatever haha. i finally talk to the goddes i call Marta, haha i really love her but shes soo beautifull and awesome and im not suprized she can get some hot guy. just call me the want to be cutter. ahh im done i dont want to think any more i feel like my hearts gunna jump out of my chest and smack me in the face and yell at me for treating it soo bad.

i like lists

currently at this moment
-watching teen titans on cartoon Network
-said goodbye to Ashley, good old buddie of mine
-talking to my good friend Cara!
-ahh feeling the cold embrace of this empty room
-missing a certain redhead
-pondering the days events as they transpire threw my memories
-siting on my computer chair, sitting on my leg
-wearing my sleeping/house clothes
-messing with my emo looking hair
-weraing socks in honor of someone
-wondering where the back door of this room is
-want to feel loved right now, want someone in my arms
-feel like i need more water

so things bothering me? nothing really just the trite-ness of school and how fucked up it seemed like today was sunday or sumthing. its like somedays i feel long "siezing the day" and sometimes i feel like another face in teh crowd(Bahh haha yeah right) and sometimes i just feel like shaving my head and throwing up at the sight of meat. BE A NON CONFORMIST. Blahlah, last night i stared at marta's pic for a good long while, she is SOo beautiful-eve when iwas talking with ashley a while ago, could tell i was being obsesive. but its kind of hard to avoid the truth. i know shes tna nd stuff now but its like i dont care, i love her evenmore. umm yeaah people ask about her.. Bethany(phone) Ashley(online) and Jeff(at school he saw my xanga site and asked me who Marta was) OHH this one girl at school(ive seen before but never realyl talked to either, and still dont for some reason, makes me think about what Marta said, ASK ANY GIRL OUT) her names Ashley, she hangs out with Valerie(sP) but but shes like into Hxc and punk stuff i guess, BUT more importantly Ashley makes me all warm on the inside, haha shes too HOT for me tho, but shes cool i bet if i had the balls to talk to her shed give me a chance. -sigh- lonlines is my only fridne right now
im not a cutter BUT DONT BE STUPIRZED IF YOU SEE SOME CUTS IN THE NEAR FUTURE
Don't worrie bout me honey, im ok.

a list

So it was sweetest day yesterday?? who enjoyed that? fuck i didnt Of Course i didnt m sweetest lives in cali :-( i wish she were here tho id be oh so happy. its lonly in romeoville nothing but sknaks and whores, not like they arnt fun its just.. no real love.. maybe plainfeild is ok? some skanks and whores, BUT they are willing to change if your a great guy-ish. ive known some REALLY awesome/cool chicks from plainfeild or go to the highschool there. whatever, i know ill be lonly throughout highschool. OH shit it came true. there must be some huge fucking fualt wit me that EVERY GIRL i talk to hates aboot me and chooses to not mention o me so they won't ever go out with me. never believe the old peole when they say Hs are the years of your life, and college might be the same dissapointment. FUCK EVERYTHING i cant stand it. its like GRRRR why was i put here on earth, i havethe attitude of some fucking demon from hell

• wake up
  
• did my hwk, read and wrote stuff down
  
• ate
  
• back up in my room-tv, guitar
  
• showered(2ish oclock)
  
• watched my tape for ROTC(finished it later tonight)
  
• changed because i had to to my aunties
  
• at my aunties had din din(my auntie made this potatoe salad, it was soo mayonaise-y its liek eww but the potatoe and egg in it was ok)
  
• back home(went home b4 mom she was still singing karanoke-i was checking out the songs on the lst of songs you could sing, iwas lookin at it because i thought i sawa morriessey/thesmiths song, NOT BECAUSE I SING)
  
• i miss my redhead!
  
• IMISS MY REDHEAD!
  
• I MISS MY REDHEAD!
  
• IMISS MY REDHEAD
  
• pollyphonic spree on the 04 music awards(mtv) good song and the choir girls were hot
  
• oh yeah my emo hair is lame looking right now. bah
  
• BAAAHHH
  
• i finished my hwk, and played guitar in my room
  
• and then got on here Woo
  

im done

I LOVE MARTA!

PINK AND GREEN DAY

ITS GREEN AND PINK DAY!!!

just make up a holiday it'll make you happy haha
i do have some kind of method to my madness, im wearing some lay's(sp) or whateer on my wrists they are PINK and GREEN its funn!!!
weeeeeeeeeeee WEEEEEEEEE weeeeeeeeeeeee
GREEEEEEEN aaannnndddddd PPPPPPPIIIIIINNNNNNNNKKKK DDDDDAAAAAAYYYYYYYY
so my day? homework and trying not to walk too much because my knee is still fucked up and, tryin to avoid touching my other knee cause its like ahh sting-y
umm lets see thoughts of the day.. umm none really its saturday im getin ready to watch HEADBANGERSBALL umm oh oh i dont know whose on it i know bad acid trip is gunna be on there though. umm yepep..
blah thats it.. maybe some lyrics? umm PTW? McR? AHC? umm i dont know oh oh atreyu


Corseting

Just swallow the pill and think of me no longer
Just let go and take yourself out
Before I kill you too
Aren't you tired of my fucking you over and over?
You were the last person I wanted in my sights
And my heart honestly breaks when I think of you
I understand now what I-love-you means -
It's doing the right thing no matter of the consequence

I'm tying you up, using the nicest lace
Trying to kill you softly, trying to erase your face

All the while I'm doing my best
Not to rub my love against your head
I'd redecorate the walls with your inner thoughts
But I'm afraid it's the wrong shade of red
But I have these sadistic urges
And I don't want to take it out on you

Right now you're the only one who understands my plight
Right now you're the only reason
I can't sleep through the night

I LOVE MARTA!!!

umm... ok

.... love you.... um.. ok
what does that mean!?!! im soo confused

i dont like my day too much because nothing really happened and it was boring GRRRR
-bobs head to chronic future-
soo time and time we fall into the depths of who we are..
BORED.. oh yeah my day
nothing too exciting, hung out with the guys in the morning after i threw my PT gear in my locker, i didnt go the band room to put away my messenger bag.. um meh
/umm i drew some more perspective stuff in band, talked to this one kid in there that was ok, its like OH i wanna go in there(looks at door near glas case with locks on it) its like i dont know waht it is but i wanna go in there
//umm -sigh- i kind of messed with kate 3rd per. oh god i looovvee her haha
// umm anything else. oh yeah PT was fun, we played murder ball and kick ball. oh geeze JeffL and some other guys just jumped whoever had the ball(and was on my team) its like ugh JEFF GET OFF HER! haha. it was entertaining tho.kick ball was funn to.. haha.. yeah on the way to drawing i saw Shannon and Michlle i waved at them they werelike Hey. and went to cermics.iguess it was speical to me. :-)

SO whats bothering me today? DERPESSION AND FUCKING LONLY-NESS AND KNOWING THE ONLY GIRLS I CAN GET ARE WHORES.. god damn.. fuck me now.. cut my wrists so i can sleep tonight
I LOVE MARTA!

headache

AAHHHHH RRRRRRAAWWWWWWRR!!
MY HEAD IS GOING TO EXPLODE!!!
its like someone blew up my brains and AHHHH!!

ahh today was ok.. i saw Kate in the morning i fliped her off as she walked by and she just kind of smiled at me, i think i still really like her. i done know, whatever i love her as a friend.
/blah nothing really fun happened toay. umm the soccerkids had ties on today. haha Kirk had a tie on today.
// i just feel shitty right now. ugh.. it slike when i go thome i took a quick nap(dosed off on my futon) then Bethany called(yesterday she called too it was fun funn stuff. we listened to music talked about stuff but today wasnt soo fun she was sad and mad at her dad, and i felt bad cause i really couldnt help) then i went down stais for some munchies and and then i went up stairs to do my homework. I HAVE A BAD HEADACHE
ok im just gunna end it off ona good note i guess :)
I LOVE MARTA!

atreyu

Taking Back Every Word That I Said

You were so euphoric I saw... the future in your eyes
A Cascade of emotion Brings me to... the summit of defeat
My trust was misplaced Like the truth... in a sea of lies
Your more content barefoot on coals
Then to deal... with feelings trapped inside... your trapped inside
Trapped inside, coalesce distrust personifiied
Fear unrealized, will paint the future black as night.
Just let go, have you felt what it is to fly
Soar above, the right path is never justified
They wouldn't ever affect you, you promisedd,
and you lied You were strong enough to make your own decisions
But evidently your own two feet just weren't enough to stand on
Tell me how should I feel after what you juust said
How the should I feel after what you just said...
You are nothing You mean nothing
Just like a child, I wish I could close my eyes
And you would dissipate
Just like a child, I wish I could close my eyes
Let my tears evaporate
Please stay away from me
You've done far to much harm


i dont care about what you say. the scars and the damage will stay.. and the feeling will not fade
-why dont you just fucking light up?
-BITCH FUCK YOU!!!
-oh wow what did you juss say?
-Motherfucker you hearrd me
-oh shit you d-int
-OH fuck yeah i did
-various clawing and screams-

so yeah thats just cool?
my day was fun. how was yours? i bet it wasnt as fun as runing around ina school full of ghetto fucks in a nasty ass unifrom
/johnny talked to me this morning about how i should of had my other unifrom on and stuff, i was like next week ill have it on, we talked a bit more on that then we parted.
\lets see anything else in the morning fun? oh yeah walked around fora while with Ron then walked with Mikie then stood around and talked to TomP. he mentioned Ash a bit. it was cool
/ umm lets see.. uhh i got burned by my potery teacher its like AHH that was harsh. its like if you dont put it back there i dont know if youll get anything done
//umm??
.. i dodnt know dont quite remember. oh yeah some funie stuff happened in world issues some funnie funnie shit, my sides hurt SO bad from laughing. haha.
// i bet it was weird seeing me in the hallways. unifrom and the funnie hair. OH whatever.
// ROTC got promoted.. weee!! and yes the roleplaying was entertaining. not the way MG wanted but it was fun.
/ so im sleeping or passed out on my futon and i hear the phone ringing, its Bethany. we talk for about i dunno some odd mins probably around a hr and half we talk about stuff music our days uhh stuff.
/oh yeah... uhh i dunno i forgot..
I LOVE MARTA!!!

Black Dahlia Murder

Thy Horror Cosmic

lord below, your abysmal horrors we call forth
awaken -- rise up and cleanse this earth with fire

the taste of victory awaits our wicked tongues
as you sleep beyond the light your blessed idol acts agent to your will

for vast aeons has slept, lurking 'neath the haunted deep
sea soaked perversion, arise
named of the foulest tongue, his will ebbs within me
beckoning -- what was shall once more be

in the house of the dead you lie and wait
oh lords of black earth
controlling the minds of the meek
staining this planet with visions of murder and hate

for vast aeons has slept, lurking 'neath the haunted deep
sea soaked perversion, arise
named of the foulest tongue, his will ebbs within me
beckoning -- what was shall once more be

we pray for the earth to open
free you of your ageless tomb
our knees bent in your worship
oh great gold one, i scream for your return

madness unhallowed
ascending moon of darkness never to wane
lurking without end
behind life in time and space

an evil so vast
beyond man's power to bear
an essence insane
dethrone the sovereign -- and with your might reclaim

i serve allegiance to your will
i scream the incantations
lord unholy, your horrors i invoke

come forth my lord
in praise we sing of your return

i LOOVEE BDM's stuff but today im an emo kid.
OK i had the "Faded" jeans on and my button up formal shirt on.but concealed under a raggdy-ass hoodie. AND the hair didnt help much .
well anything fun happen today?
-Talked to Michelle during consumers, i was like bitching about my hair, and she asked why it lookd kind of weird, i was like I had Beenie on this morning
-umm the talk with Tom and Mike during drawing media was pretty fucking entertaining, everything i guess sex related was talked about... BOOBS haha
-ahh soo much was said about my haircut. i dont feel like going threw that(not that it was all bad or severly harsh its just stuff i dont really remmeber and there was alot of it)

THINKING

ummm.. what else did i do?. MEh fuck it my head hurts now.

speaking of thinking, i thought bout 3 people today-MARTA(LOVE YOU BABE)Cristina(MY voice is not sexy) and NIkka(im sorrie we have an odd relationship)

extremelylazyMondays

im tired, eventhough i havnt done much today.

i went to this haircut place in my old town(near my old neighborhood) i got there around 12 got in teh chair like 15mins later. my cut is ok-short but not as short as i wanted but its ok i guess, its like i wanted a devil hawk but he gave me some dumb cut.. its ok for inspections but not up to my emo/indie standards. .. whatever
/went to burger king aftewords i had tendercrisps sandwich. later on we went to home depot the one in Darien not the one in Romeoville, umm we were looking in the electrical isle for some conduit(pipes for electrical wiring)
//got home and put the conduit together after some reluctance from the electical equipment out on the patio. YEAH when we were doen in the backyard/patio BETHANY called. geeze my dad was all giggly, oh yeah last night. Cristina called when my folks came home.. how annoying was that.. well yes
//after talking and stuff for a little i went upstairs to change, and now im doing some laundry. and leads me here. im done.. I miss marta, i wanna tlak to her soo bad

FCRip off

WE are not wat you think we are.
we take care of your things while you are off jerking around.
DO NOT FUCK WITH US
we are the scum of life
we are the people you dont see , but our presense is felt

so today i really havnt done much today well done anything i wanted to do.
//i went to some weird wake mourning thing, i got up around 10.22 and showered as soon as i could and got ready, it was about 11 by the time i was ready and me and my folks left. it was a prety long treck along the highway down to DEKALB, but whateeveer i got some nap time in and listened to some ok musc on the radio.
/by the time i got there it was around noon ish, there was a praying thing going on when i got in, i didnt know where to go so i just tired to stay out of peoples way
//that was how i baiscally felt about the whole .. uh get together, stay out of peoples way.
/home. bascially laid around played guitar and took a whack at my TEACHING A CLASS proj in ROTC. i like wrote a page from the notes my instructor gave me, and iwas like ugh my brain is maxed out...
well that was my day.. 3 words

I LOVE MARTA

pop ups suck

i cant take all these lame pop ups i just got on and i have a "new" program on my comp. horoscope.. blah who cares about that stuff.. i know i dont care. i wish i had wireless internet or DSL or sumthing so i wouldnt have to get online everytime to get to AIMits like avoidong the middle man.. going to a distibutor and buying the product instead of going to a chainstore and guying the product there.
//so ive done squat today. well i did cores for like 3 hrs, its like i did the dishes moped hte floor then i had to clean up the floors by the bathroom downstairs and the linincloset blah lah.. could i say ive had a productive day?
/i dont know i didnt do anything for myself, besides hang up my clothes ugh whatever.
// current events of MY day, realized that Throwdown is playing with FF and L-o-G and Children of Bodoom....Bethany shouldnt call on sundays... make sure all windows are open when using cleaning sprays.... Demon hunter is a GOD ROCK band... Metal is your Friend... Dillinger Escape Plan IS your Savior.. haha im done

tyrany and opression

so my comps being a total dyke. GRR adwear how did i get adwear?
i dont like geting off and on my internet while im talking to people i love and care about. GRR whatever... its calmed down now

I havnt done much today.

• wokeup
  
• watched tv
  
• showered
  
• eat
  
• guitar
  
• laundry
  
• talk on the(ze) phone for about 30mins
  

deadbolt-Thrice

"Deadbolt"

when deadbolts awake you from deja vu dreams,
at four in the morning you know where I'll be.
out running red lights asleep at the wheel.
the sirens feed my nightmares,

I just close my eyes and I'm already here;
its already too late.
I know its nothing but lies,
but they sound so sincere;
I find them too hard to hate.

and she calls from the doorway "stolen water is sweet,
so let's drink it in the darkness if you know what I mean"
and she calls from the doorway "stolen water is sweet,
so let's drink it in the darkness if you know what I mean"

and I'm almost sure
that I've been here before,
that this is not the first time I've stood in front of this door,
with an overwhelming feeling that I shouldn't go in,
but it seems this is a battle that I never could win.

and you!
my true love!
you call from the hilltop.
you call through the streets,
"Darling don't you know,
the water is poison."
and I say!
"Come on and give me my poison."

what have I done?
is it too late to save me from this place?
from the depths of the grave?
we all are those ..
who thought we were brave.
what have I done

i feel hungover again. goddamn what the hell.. i think i should like... nap better or sumthing, like nap im shorts not not my cavillian clothes(whatever clothes i wore to school)...

so anything fun happen?

//i remember taking a swig of Josh's Rockstar this morning, i was tweaking like hell after that, i asked him f he could pick me up one for tues, and id pay him back. umm yes caffine is addictive

/hEy someone IMed me a sec... well around 5.56 and left.. im sorrie, if they uhh read this blog.

//umm my good budy Brandon got his hair choped off, he looked like he was going ot cry all morning. he said when he got it cut yesterday he was going to cry, he wanted to ask if he could keep some of his hair, hes had the same cut for like 3yrs.

/so he stripped the boys naked, bound and gaged them, threw the children in his closet and tortured and beat them to soften the flesh... On peir markets the butcher would cut up any meat. i would bring in the naked flesh of a young boy.. umm yes the nice fat ass of a boy would fetch the highest price.

//I Come from the planet venus, i bring murr and frakensnese.. what the hell happen to you?.. they let chu out of the nut house.. NO NO were from England.... SO how are you boys enjoying your trip. . . . ...i dont think Nzis arebad people i think they are a gathering of peoples... What did you say about Nazis?... so theres devilworshipers here?.. yes more then ever before..... You talked about a mark??.. yes 666 mark of the devil...

///enough of my movie random triva...

/umm anything helse happen?.. had a fun talk during homeroom and lunch about stuff. talked to brandon about music during home room that was really fun.. we talked about how not so depressed JonDavis is, comepared the derpessing ness of Korn and Slipknot and anyother band, umm thats it for that..

//umm i went up to front of the class today in rotc to do an oral presentation of my writting assignment, when i got up there Jeff was like "jus woke up?" i was like.. NO man i been up haha. oh yes speaknig of being up, Dana and Hollie got on my back about fallin a sleep when Allison went up to do her. umm yess

/ YET AGAIN on the way home i was SOO depressed for some fucking reason, i guess itwas walking down the Sophomre hallway, all the hot gurls. i dont know, ill think about Marti and Bethany and be ok..

listening

"Listening"


Your skin attached this fragile cliche
Of my broken heart attack
You should swallow your teeth and hang out
Stay for a while
If your heart's still beating it must be the blood
If your lungs are still working it must be the mud
If its still light out than a kick in the ribs
today's worth living

I don't see anything now
So just say what you wanna say
It's kind of funny how you're not listening anyway
Lights out, I can't stand to hear you scream
While we were making love I was fast asleep
and the night sky better give something up (give something up)

I don't see anything now
So just say what you wanna say
It's kind of funny how I'm not listening anyway
[x2]

Lights out, lights out...
Lights out, I can't stand to hear you scream
While we were making love I was fast asleep
If your heart's still beating it must be the blood
If your lungs are still working it must be the mud
If its still light out than a kick in the ribs
today's worth living

I don't see anything now
So just say what you wanna say
It's kind of funny how I'm not listening anyway
[x2]

I'm not listening anyway
I'm not listening anyway
I'm not listening

Listening, I'm not listening
I'm not listening
I'm not listening
I'm not listening

that basically discribes my overall feeling about everything and everyone today.

its like AHHH dont talk to me when im unifrom im not in a very good mood at all!.

so yeah major events of my day? meh

UMM let me remember, testing for sophomores.. THe pLan Test its lie blah so hard to get threw the hallway where the gym and band room are-not that much fun in band, there really wasnt that many people in there because of testing.

lest we forget Michelle b. is a beautiful creature and she pet me today :-) i helpd her with something about the ROTC essay

i am in an ok mood today, not super good but ok. but when was the last time i was ina super good mood?. not to bring up ld ghosts but my minds wondered into bad territory, yeah suicudial thoughts, i guess it was Bethany last night or my usual thoughts of lonlyness-i dont know either way i was depressed. i just kinda walked around with a siniser look on my face.

NOTHING MAKES ME HAPPY ANY MORE

headache update

HEY afternoon update. yeah i got yelled at during 6th per, not by teacher by Allison, well she was teaching the class so i guess it counts as teacher. umm

so ive gota killer headach.. ughhhs and gaaahs.. meh lets see yeah not much happened later on in my afternoon -think- anything to rant about today. no not really

HAPPY BIRFDAY MARTI

(ima do this for like 3 days)

consumers

Boredem drives me to think.

last night was Marti's birfday i felt reaal bad when i forgot about it, its ok she forgave me

i love that little redhead

blah umm nothing really happed today so far.

umm walked around the school didnt hang out at the spot..

Jimmy farted in world issues ran around the room to avoid the smell

umm yeah thats it

101_1

as i go off to some place wth the radio on. q101.1 was on i got bored and sticked to that, i look up at the popo infront of my father's yuppie wagon and the number on the popo's car is 1011 i thought that was kinda odd. later on at mcdonlads when i paid for the food and i got the change back it was like 10.1$ oDD RIGHT?
i enjoyed the interpol concert last night ont he radio and the snowpatrol concert and the incubus concert(what i heard from it)

yes today was a fine day
nothing too out of the ordinary. umm in the morning umm i didnt say anything to Candy this morning, i think ill hug her eventually this week. umm more thinking. HEY i got my guitar out of the kiln im glazing it now. well yeah i talked to Michelle a little before uhh 4th per, its like were jus standin there then JamesS comes up and starts talking about how firm michelle's hand shake is and then he leaves(thank god) then kate comes up and starts talking about how her bud hugs her all weird(gets under her shirt when they hug) then yeah she went in the class room and me and michelle talk a bit about hugs that was cool and when we went into the class room i kinda wraped my arms around her shoulders, hug right? i dont know im blah right now
um later on today umm i saw kelly's fun thong, it slike wow 2 peices of string haha and i saw Kim's actual panties nice nice haha. some reason Kelly was talking about relationships, iwa slike umm i dont care cause ive never had one, i was kind of down fora while... my lonliness love it hate it live with it, and any one that thinks they can put up with it can go out with me.
my bandana REALLY stops me from cutting cause id have to cut threw it to get to the flesh.me and cutting never really seen together in a sentence but YES ive thought about it and yes ive had a blade and tried to cut, but i couldnt get threw the skin... if youve known me a long time, thats in my aol profile. WELL NOW its not to say that i have suicidal tendencies i do get severly depressed sometimes, enough to make me wanna take my life, but i dont. well LOVE is all you need.
marta hope we tlak to night

restlessly yours

GEE todays been fun.
wake up, shower, eat breakfast, do chores, get on here, then have to leave get ready go downtown then go to a ghetto mall
i dont like ghetto people they annoy me with their loud voices and cRap music(sorrie nikki i knwo you love your rap) i didnt see many preppy people, umm i sawe like 4 gothish/alt kids-3hot chicks :-P
man i havnt had a lot to eat today, chicken strips and some eggs for lunch. ok i guess i dunno im kinda light headed.
Marta i love you. i think about you everyday
yeah i saw a redhead today, some chick at mcdonalds i seen at school quite alot, He rname is Faith. tahts cool right? i duno i was thinkin about her after walking out with ym food iwas like i should of said infront of her "redheads make me smile"

i dont know

so how was your day?

GOd is in the Tv

plans for today?
nothing really just headbangers ball and get yelled at to do chores.
so i was thinking about stuff last night, stuff i wanted to talk about on here but
iforgot them.
grr. dont you hate when that happens
JUST LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME NOW
IMA FAKE IMA FAKE!!!
ahh i love the used's new cd its like ahh
not that much dist but its awesome, it reminds me of the minimalism of the olden times
SO i heard some fucked up shit on the news today
some highschool board is trying to get a new biology
its like it teaches that theres a divine power that created everything
basically preaching that god created everything, but without saying what exactly that divine power is
i think its total bullshit not just im for evolution, it exculdes the people with non-christain religions
I hate jesus freaks they make me sick
its like OH OH i got saved because i prayed till my hands bled
I prayed to get threw it and i survived with a limp an a fucking dick in my ass
FUCK RELIGION
i dont see the point just live your life, and if stuff happens it happend.

ah yes religion, i dot believe in any god at all.
soo if oyu think im goin to hell you can lick my balls for all i care
i think when your dead your dead.
THATS IT
ugh this is it im done my head hruts

Oh yeah ima fake.

i hate how people fake sstuff

like they act different just do be ina group or whatever its lame.

ugh hate hate hate PoSERS

(eventhough ive been accused of being one)

I know ima good kid and all but its like you gota hate something. haha

well since its saturday i dont wanna think any more ima sstop NOW

Nikki's

the day our friendship died,
i couldnt believe how hard i cried,
you didnt know,
you didnt care,
i wasnt there,
so here i sit,
with my pain in my hand,
as i watch you from some distant land,
i never thought our friendship would die,
you didnt even say goodbye,
a tear shed here,
a tear shed there,
each a wish to be over there,
so now i just want you to know,
just how much i miss you so

its been an interesting day,well umm yeah... what did happen todaY? haha
well i think the first thing i can think of is umm i talked to stephaine fora little while after 3nd per, oh yeah 3rd per was fun-ish
like after we did all our work we all kinda went off and talked to people and did stpid shit(beat eachother up throw paper balls draw on the whipeboard put white out on my nails :-) and some stupid stuff with dictionaries.)

blehlah...

umm anything else interesting today? meh PT it sucked..

anythin wrong with me today?

no not really

a slight case of no hugs doesnt hurt too bad.

i think about that one time in sophomore year ROTC its like woo .... HUG me i was like huh?.. god i felt soo so lame that day.
i remember that one day when Kelly and Jeff made us sit in the circle , its like Oh instead of talking about ozzfest, i should of talked about that one time in ROTC sophomore year... see if she realized who im talking about.. ALLY! i love you haha. yeah speaking of love, i was soo close to saying to anthony today in RO.. so Kelly, Mchelle and Shannon are hot.. do you think so? haha i bet he would of been like.. you've got too much time on your hands. god ROTC i was soo soo whiped out.
yeah blah lah.. boring boring boring.
tel me your vices, tell me what gets you off?
ive never really seriously thought about what makes me like EMO or what makes me like HxC or why i can only love girls from far. i can say i love thoes things but never really prove it.
i can say i love emo because they talk bout shit i can relate to same with HxC
girls its just bleh i like the way they walk and move and every little mundane detail.
like if i were to think about that time in ROTC 2 school yrs ago i could probably remember every little detail about how Alison looked.
bleh i guess thats it