im in a bad mood

.. oh yeah im pissed off.. i hate being home on a day when i only had one class, and i didnt even stay for the whole period.

so yeah why im still home.. i get yelled at and bitched at because i dont know how to get financial aid.. and after being bitched and whined at i get a call from ass number one telling me that i cant even get financial aid because of something or other.. at this point i really dont care.

also during that phone call... A1 had said some things that would make any other person want to kill them or themselfs.. A1 said that i cannot get financial aid.. and critizied me about getting a job.. said that i was too immature to get a job and lack confidience.. AND.. also said if you cant succeed in geting a job how can you succeed in your relationship that just.. grr..

i loath this family.. just like A1 said im really not apart of the family.. i realy dont care if she acts that way towards me, for all i care i might as well be. IF I HAD A JOB AND MONEY i would of moved out by now.. i could give a fuck less about them.. i dont care of my "special" brother is neglected and they die.. how do you think i was treated growing up as a kid... i never got the "love & affection" a child needs. you made me go to bed early.. and forced me to stay home and when i try to hang out with friends.. you HUNT ME DOWN AND WALK ME HOME AND DRIVE SLOWLY SO THAT YOU HAVE AN EYE ON ME... and after a while i grow up a bit you ask me why i dont go out.. and when i finally do you hate it.. what the hell.... i hate you.. i will always hate you.. to me you are roomates.. not family. ihave no family the only people i care about are my friends and Jessi.

fuck.

someone i care about is really pissed off.. im worried.. im only writing in here tonight

today was interesting.. i went to a lot of places and ended up in portage then out places.. and back to jessi's.. stuff and then im worried..





i love you baby, but you make me worry

hmm

I LOVE JESSI LYNN BONAFACCHI

plots to get an ipod

conventional ways

1. get a job

dangerous ways

1. going to best buy with a huge box containing.. a drill and some kind of diversion.. drill is for.. drilling open the keyhole of the display case and the box of course to hide the drill and to carry the ipod.. ipods
2. breaking in after store hours
3. turning out the lights during store hours and drilling and stealing form the display case
4. bait and steal.. have a clerk open up the case and distract them long enough and have their FULL ATTENTION, steal an ipod while the case is still open
5. making the the sales person open up the case making them think your going to buy one, once it is open... stun the fucker and steal one.

one point, tryin to get said ipod out the entrance, one way- some kind of box sheilding the ipod, another, run for the hills either out the front, or if possible out the back door carry the ipod high enough so that it misses the sensors at the door

and final way.. upload all my music onto my laptop and sell my cds.. sell whatever to make 300sum dollars..

and yes i have spent a lot of time thinking about it

i dont know i hate school but i still learn

.. a child that has insecurities as they grow up, or have some type of dysfunction, were messed up as children either in the early childhood stage or any stage before adolecence. depending when the child was misstreated directly affects the severity of the the dysfunction of the child.
also if the child is effected harshly enough the childs cognative learning will be affected

some more extreme dysfunctions in a childs psyche will lead to deviences and other irregularities in a childs personailty which is the main source of criminal impulses and extreme criminal cases

if an adult that is dysfunctional, and has a extremly irregular personality, as they go threw their life encountering social stigmas envolving their pyschological condition. they will be greatly affected by the people opressing them or the authority figures they encounter.

although attempts at changing a person's psyche threw tharapy or medication have been somewhat effective. the best way to ensure that a person is prevention. by making sure that a person grows up with no irregularities in their personality

im lame..

my girlfriend = wonderfull

me = a dumbass
we = love eachother

me = total dumbass

you = deserve better

i love you jessi.. im sorry i just needed to vent baby