Thrice--Beltsville Crucible-- True Friends Stab You In The Front

TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name:	Loreto D. K.
Birthday:	may 27th 1987
Birthplace:	some odd island in the pacific
Current Location:	my room on the floor
Eye Color:	brown.. bloodshot
Hair Color:	black
Height:	5ft 9-11in ish
Right Handed or Left Handed:	right
Your Heritage:	not sure. its mine
The Shoes You Wore Today:	none so far. flipflops
Your Weakness:	free music..
Your Fears:	dying alone, major diseases
Your Perfect Pizza:	thick crust, very littl toppings
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year:	GET A JOB
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger:	dot dot dot(...)
Thoughts First Waking Up:	Shit..
Your Best Physical Feature:	none
Your Bedtime:	when i decide to pass out
Your Most Missed Memory:	back when iwas young when it was easier
Pepsi or Coke:	Coke
MacDonalds or Burger King:	neither but.. burgerking fries and mcdonalds nuggets
Single or Group Dates:	single preferrably
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea:	Lipton
Chocolate or Vanilla:	Vanilla
Cappuccino or Coffee:	coffee
Do you Smoke:	try not o
Do you Swear:	OHH yeah
Do you Sing:	OHH god no
Do you Shower Daily:	Of Course
Have you Been in Love:	yes
Do you want to go to College:	already. but i hate it
Do you want to get Married:	sure why not
Do you belive in yourself:	not at all
Do you get Motion Sickness:	not. but i try to
Do you think you are Attractive:	not at all
Are you a Health Freak:	kind of. i wash my hands alot, i think i have OCD
Do you get along with your Parents:	HAHAHAHAH
Do you like Thunderstorms:	of course
Do you play an Instrument:	yes
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol:	no
In the past month have you Smoked:	...
In the past month have you been on Drugs:	no
In the past month have you gone on a Date:	what constitutes a date?
In the past month have you gone to a Mall:	ohh yeah
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos:	...no just individual oreos
In the past month have you eaten Sushi:	eww no
In the past month have you been on Stage:	no
In the past month have you been Dumped:	no
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping:	no
In the past month have you Stolen Anything:	uh no
Ever been Drunk:	yes-ish
Ever been called a Tease:	uhhh yeah
Ever been Beaten up:	no
Ever Shoplifted:	no
How do you want to Die:	terminal disease
What do you want to be when you Grow Up:	..SOMEONE WITH A JOB
What country would you most like to Visit:	australia
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color:	blue or hazle
Favourite Hair Color:	dark- really darkbrown or a black
Short or Long Hair:	long
Height:	shorter than me.. i guess
Weight:	i dont know, it doesnt matter
Best Clothing Style:	never thought about it. dont care really nothin ghetto
Number of Drugs I have taken:	none
Number of CDs I own:	around 200,180 i think
Number of Piercings:	none yet
Number of Tattoos:	none yet
Number of things in my Past I Regret:	if i could remember
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!

happy birthday baby

tomorrow is the day before xmas eve. it is the 24th

it is my favorite person's birthday, she will be 19.

i dont have much to give.. or have much to offer her besides a hug and ALL the love i have in my heart..

i love you jessi lynn

you are the best thing in my life.. in my other wise gloomy smoke filled depression that i call my life. you are the only good thing in my life.

remissions

its just about 3am.. i just downloaded a mogwai song its about 9mins long, so far ive heard about a minute or so from it. its pretty awesome

so yeah im sitting on my futon watching chan 20 on basic cable and it made me think about life.. way back long time ago.. i was happy but it wasn't in my opnion a good happy, i was a kid.
In my opnion all kids are delusional.. they believe one thing but the world around them its totally, or almost totally.. different from what the child believes.

i just tired seeing of MP3Shits has any jamie cullum
so far this mogwai song is instrumental, if there are any vocals i cant hear them.

so back to what i was getting at.. its not to say that i am not happy right now.. its just i know more and i am happy with my current situation. but it is a sad inevitable fact that things do change. i just got to know that when they do, its not the end of the world.

back when iwas a kid when something did change.. i really dont think i took it well.. but i really dont remeber how i reacted to life. i remember though when something happened, i will not say what happened.. if you know me i think i might have told you already but i dont know.. so yeah when that happened i didnt react, i really didnt do anything i sat in the corner, playing with cards.

now adays im kind of the same but yeah i dont like to admitt that im pretty stoic about life. its not that i feel negative or non feeling about life, its just how i grew up
its kind of hard to change how a person reacts when thats all they know.
yes, me older and a bit wiser.. i know change comes. i just take it. unless ive thought that far ahead, that i have a plan to change it back
its not to say that i am not happy.. its just im happy right now.

im in a good situation.. i guess.. money is lacking..

but its like ... there is no perfect situation.


-written listening to the following
Mogwai- 2rights make 1 wrong
KillSwitchEngage- Rose of Sharyn
and scrolling threw various songs -d/c -Blink182-BdM-MYChemicalRomance-Slipknot

a non angry post.

i guess its a happy post.. i spent like.. 9-11.50 with jessi...
that made my day.. i was ready to go to her house at like... something sometime.. tho.. but she was busy.. but its not like i could change it.. so yeah blah.. but it did make me kind of angry.. just say i could of used smoke at that time.. i called her alot.. and tis like... can i call you later.. blah
i know its like.. i want to spend as much time as i can with her but its like... UGH.. i want to punch a wall sometimes....
i dont know.. its odd its just shit..
im ok... im gunna go sleep i have finals..
I LOVE YOU JESSI LYNN no matter what..
you mean alot to me.. i dont know what it would be like to be with out you..
LOVE YOU JESSI

if you havnt heard.. i hate my parents..

i tried to update this earlier.. but it wasnt working so whatever..
i hate my parents.. adopt me kidnapp me do whatever just take me away form here..

for thoes of you that dont know.. i hate my paretns.

Does any one want to adopt me?

Im sick of being home and im sick of my parents.. im sick of them yelling at me to do chores. all i fucking do at home is do chores.

I think that geting a job should be easier.. i wish they would tell me up front if they want me or not, instead of making me wait and bitch and moan until i realize WAY WAY WAY too late and im fucking broke.. ugh.

I am broke... no.. i am UBER BROKE. thats like.. below a bum.. i hate it.. i feel horrible when my friends pay for me.. and i have a better chance with... geting a blow job from paris hilton than geting money from my parents.. all i get is gas money.. i know its important.. but I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB.. i need away

They are right, im not comfortable being home. im way more at ease iguess.. being out with my friends. I WANT TO BE SOME PLACE WHERE THEY WANT ME TO BE THERE, not some place where they just want me there to do chores and wait on them hand and foot.

I am soo glad the only thing holding me back from killing you is the law.. which trust me isnt much to begin with.. when you put together all the bullshit ive been threw in this family. murder is nothing.

And if i do get some really long prison sentence that i know i wont survive.. i wont think tiwce to taking the easy way out.

...bottom line.. i hate it here.. someone adopt me or save me or something.. kidnapp me!!!