i need to finish off my smoke...

i miss her.. im in a fucking terrible mood.. i know it doesnt seem like it.. but i am.

im ok!!

im typing still obviously.. out of habit i guess but yes a way to get stuff off my chest and rant about idiotic things..

im happy again i guess..

yet i say again blogger will set you free

im typing in here..i think i will out of habbit and to get shit off my chest. any one know how to fix the timestamp thing on here?

suprize?

i might not type in here any more... lyrics

sure..

i really don't feel like much right now.. i guess thats a bad thing but i don't know about much right now. something that usually makes me happy.. it didn't make me sad. although im geting there and it didn't make me happy i don't know. life is odd.. it needs to stop in my opinion

-lighter flickers.. person inhales deep and exhales slowly-

i just need time to think.. and something to calm me down.... let me sink into my seat..


i hung out today. it was fun..

i love you.. but you make me worry

i am super sleepy..

so i went out again tonight and just got home a little bit ago.. like 1ish not sure the mins. i think i reaally needed the time out with jessilynn because.. i don't know i just needed it. first off i dont know it was odd i guess she wanted me to drive to her house but yeah i couldnt since my dad was being pissy about it..
so i called her and told her and asked her if she could come get me.. so yeah i was waiting for her in my room.
we went to lauren's place, a friend of her's she was cool.. it was a interesting hour or so out on her pourch.... sat talked, smoked, got cold.. and gropped and did stuff abit and talked about doing stuff..
later on back to jessi's house we had somethin to snack on.. then went into the basement.. watched movies. blah.. IM SORRY JESSI FOR ACCIDENTALLY HITTING YOU IN THE FACE.. I FEEL HORRIBLE ABOUT IT OK ... blah.. sorry.. a billion times sorry..

im blah

i did a lot today but im lazy..
today i went over to jessi's we went out to walmart and then back to her house.. stuff happened between her and her mom and stuff and blahh..
then Christina and Carly came over we all talked and then the nintendo got turned on.. WOo..
i gave CK a backrub while Jessi and Carly played mario i was kind of all over CK.. i dunno i like her. but i love jessi. CK is just cuddlly i love cuddly... then we all got bored and went to the fountain. or tired to.. damn pigs.. we got pulled over..
we decided to park in front of my house... we all sat talked and took pictures haha..

this is for jessi

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v734/geezethisagain/731157c4.jpg

so where do you put that?

.. i went to the mall today.. i just walked around, igot bored but yeah i "got stuff" with jessi it was fun. later on at stake and shake was FUN! haha i love thoes crazzyy peoples.. sorry about the short entries im quite tired.

..check him. he might be drinking.

im bored.. and i have insomnia.

i went out with someone, she helped me apply at some places. thanks.

we spent a while in her basment watching movies and hung out at a church and then before i left we played with a black cat that happened to stroll by..

hmm talking to my friend is fun and entertaining.. and all i have to say is... HOW IS THE SEX??

i am loved..

and she knows i love her.. i hang out with her for hours. im happy im ONLY happy when im out..with her.

i don't mind getting yelled at or waiting around for her to come downstairs and go out.
i get yelled at for coming home really late. i should just make my folks call me at 11. i really don't care, whatever.
she loves the big guys.. hmm whatever i like her..
...so when are we having a serious relationship??

im sorry for being a prink -edit- prick

..she trusts me A LOT and i think i trust her, i know i do- but its like stuff can happen.

im sorry if i seem possesive or whatever. but i dunno i havn't been this far with anyone.. and i don't want to lose you. and i know you don't want to lose me.

ghost of you

I never said I'd lie and wait forever
If I died, we'd be together
I can't always just forget her
But she could try

At the end of the world
Or the last thing I see
You are
Never coming home
Never coming home
Could I? Should I?
And all the things that you never ever told me
And all the smiles that are ever ever...
Ever...

Get the feeling that you're never
All alone and I remember now
At the top of my lungs in my arms she dies
She dies

At the end of the world
Or the last thing I see
You are
Never coming home
Never coming home
Could I? should I?
And all the things that you never ever told me
And all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me
Never coming home
Never coming home
Could I? Should I?
And all the wounds that are ever gonna scar me
For all the ghosts that are never gonna catch me

If I fall
If I fall (down)

At the end of the world
Or the last thing I see
You are
Never coming home
Never coming home
Never coming home
Never coming home
And all the things that you never ever told me
And all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me
Never coming home
Never coming home
Could I? Should I?
And all the wounds that are ever gonna scar me
For all the ghosts that are never gonna...

i feel like god (not that i really believe in him/her/it/them) does NOT like me at all.

thank you jessi you make me happy.

How many ways can i say i love you.

... i shall never say it again mylove..

i only mouth it to you dork.

hmm stake and shake..
i went out with jessi- i told her about the shit my folks said, i think its nuts she thinks its freaking hilarious, it is kind of but from my point of view.. its FUCK UP AND YOUR GETTING SHIPPED OFF OVER SEAS.
out to christina's first
hung out with chirstina and Carly first and Carly's bud mike came over.. hmm smokers. we all were talking about what to do.. mike was like TRUCK STOP! we were like NO YOU FAG! haha
nothing like holding hands
at stake and shake.. we got 2 booths one non smoking. hmm one of Ck's buds met us there Kim. it was a fun uhh talk and drinking time at stake and shake.
WHO OWNS A RUBBER VAG?!
eewwww eww ew ew ew ew ew.

tell me when its over.. i still.. always will..

love you, my dear

i can't believe how much it hurts but it has to be done and no matter what you know i always love you. sorry im far and it seems like im gone.

i hung out with jessi at her house we watched tv for a while then we went into her basment to watch some movies untill we left for manda's.
"i gathered my things and we left" manda went ahead and jessi told me how to get there.
once we got there we all kind of chilled got some snacks and stuff. manda's niece came over with her dog Cap.Morgan( manda is babysitting her and the dog i guess, dog is named after the spiced rum) yeah she and the dog are cute and entertaining. crawling on my face stuff.. bitting on my fingers and stuff its fun buutt ouch sharp nails and teeth. (i know im used to bitting but fuck thoes canines hurt) we all sat around watching tv basically.. not alot of talking.. kissing though..

i do what i must do untill i can see you again.
all i see is dust and blood on my hands, i don't think i can live threw this.
i will do what i can untill i see you.

but i did this for you
so you can live a better life with me
i know im far but i will be home soon
i hope you'll understand this please

hmm

im in love with some one.. i think i am atleast

i love spending time with her. i want to spend a whole day with her. but i think she might get tired of seeing me.

i want to get an apt so me and her can hang out with out being bothered.

interesting ...

earlier today iwas at jessi's when i was sopposed to be job hunting. it was fun we watched finding nemo.

after coming home tho my head was killing me..

right now i just got back from Ck's, hanging out with Jessi CK and 2 of her friends.
we all spooned and had tickle wars.. it was odd but fun.

my head is killing me i need to go check other sites.

meh.. same as last night

i had a class

and i went to christina's house

i drove myself to her house tho.

cuddled with jessi.